


and one knows it

by maizonos



Series: BBB Fest (December 2019 - March 2020) [3]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Character Study, Gen, Internal Monologue, Introspection, No Lee Know puns, Self-Reflection, Yang Jeongin | I.N-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-19
Updated: 2020-03-19
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:00:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23208142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maizonos/pseuds/maizonos
Summary: Jeongin knows a lot of things, but at the same time, he doesn't.
Series: BBB Fest (December 2019 - March 2020) [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1582750
Comments: 2
Kudos: 7
Collections: BBBFest Debut Round: The Bittersweet Option





	and one knows it

**Author's Note:**

> This is my third fic for the first round of the BBB Fest.

Is being the youngest an excuse to not be particularly talented? Being the maknae sounds like a fun position of its own, but at times Jeongin really questions whether he’s actually happy about being the youngest member of the group. It’s certainly not the same as being known as something such as the main vocalist. He knows there are some maknaes of other groups who hold other major positions in the group. He knows he doesn’t envy them, but he knows he takes note of anyone who’s also a maknae.

At the same time, there’s the fact that he keeps being told that he holds so much potential. He’s young, so everyone claims there’s much room for him to grow as a singer and performer. Jeongin isn’t so sure of that.

It’s okay if he doesn’t ever become main vocalist material, no one is saying he will definitely be or must try to get to that point, which is a relief, but there’s still that pressure on him to develop.

Perhaps there had been a low hum of anticipation for what his voice would sound like after he took his braces off. Jeongin had been anticipating it too, but there obviously wasn’t any huge change right after removing his braces.

Is it his lack of significance in the group? He knows the other members could easily take over his parts in every song even though their voices are different. But it’s not like he’s a nobody, he’s got his own quirks for sure. He’s able to sing trot, for one. He knows there are many fans who see him as their favourite, knows there are fans who only take pictures of him and knows that there are many fans who look up to him too. He knows, but his brain sometimes acts as if he doesn’t.

His mind goes in circles like this at times but it’s not so bad that he needs to seek help for it, thankfully. He doesn’t want to be a burden. Similarly, he doesn’t want to drag his group down. He’s very much aware that they don’t want to lose him.

It goes without saying that things kind of changed after Woojin left. For a while, there was an air of seriousness. All of them had been wrapped up in it, with seemingly no way of getting out. Thankfully, time was all it took for them to get up and move on. It’s better now, but it’s still not easy to discuss the topic of Woojin’s departure.

It’s not that Jeongin doesn’t like challenges. He just doesn’t like having to record parts that Woojin had sung before. He’s quite sure his vocal range is nowhere near as good as Woojin’s and he knows he’s going to sound so different. They all know the end result will sound nothing like the original, and they’re fine with that. Jeongin should be fine with it too, but he wishes he could get more lines in future songs rather than in their current ones. This shouldn’t bug him so much. If Woojin hadn’t left, would Jeongin still be getting to sing for the same number of seconds as before? Jeongin would definitely prefer it if it was through his own ability that he scored more parts in their songs.

The only thing that Jeongin could think to do was practice. Not overwork himself, obviously, but the number of times he saw himself walk into a practice room alone definitely shot up. Perhaps his improvement would bring something good for the group. Maybe it’d help them feel better without Woojin. But nothing was for sure.

If asked whether he had ever considered leaving the group, he would have to say yes. It wasn’t that he had any intent to leave, but he had definitely thought about it after Woojin announced that he wished to leave the group. Jeongin had considered what would have happened if he ended up leaving Stray Kids too. Even the thought of it was painful. He knows that someday the group will cease to exist and they will each go do whatever their heart desires. The future sounds terrifying. If he had a choice, maybe he’d like to stay in this part of his life for a lot longer. But how can he say that when they haven’t even been around for two years yet?

The conclusion he ends up with, for the time being, is that he’s thinking too much. There’s no time for this right now. He still needs to practice and promote. He’ll be a better Jeongin, not just for himself, but for his group, his fans and for Woojin.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Constructive criticism and comments are more than welcome!
> 
> Here are the squares of my BBB Fest bingo card that this fic fits if you're curious:  
> \- crushed by the weight of your own potential  
> While Jeongin's not entirely crushed by his own potential, it's definitely brought up how he feels pressured because of being the youngest, since he still has room to improve. There's also the fact that there seem to be more expectations on him because Woojin left.  
> \- age vs talent hierarchies  
> Jeongin compares himself with other maknaes a bit and also thinks about how he doesn't hold any main roles besides the title of maknae, while there are some maknaes that do hold the main roles. However, he seems content with not being the main vocalist or something like that.
> 
> Twitter: [hchaes](https://twitter.com/hchaes)  
> CuriousCat: [hchaes](https://curiouscat.me/hchaes)


End file.
